Today, I found myself.. (Day 272)

Today, I found myself waiting impatiently for the obvious and working towards the finish.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 271)

Today, I found myself proven that negativity is a major dislike and that exams are total bullshit.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 269)

Today, I found myself getting annoyed by the redundant educational assessments as the impending dawn of a new member looms closer.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 268)

Today, I found myself drained of brain and consciousness as preparations slowly firm up.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 267)

Today, I found myself mildly satisfied and sapping knowledge from the size of my palm.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 265)

Today, I found myself treated to a day of clauses and theories to catch up as 100 days are left to update.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 263)

Today, I found myself a little lighter on the head but not for the tasks at hand.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 261)

Today, I found myself learning the effects of institutionalization and readying myself for the final push.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 258)

Today, I found myself ending official school in style guided by a future.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 102)

Today, I found myself hardly jumping over the moon but alas, sweet sweet reprieve.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 101)

Today, I found myself planning for significance in the form of research and production logistics.

One day..

Picture Credits: Wikipedia
Icon belongs to the Media Development Authority of Singapore.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 96)

Today, I found myself peculiarly marked as I wished that the calendar said "1963".

Photo credits: flickr user.
Photo belongs to its respective owner.

Today, I found myself.. (Day 92)

Today, I found myself preparing for anticipation as well as what lies the week ahead.

Photographs, Pasta and Pressure

Passion.

Sometimes during the course of life, we engage in self conversation. While some assume the effectiveness of verbal self conversation, others prefer to let the pen, do the talking.

Self conversations are interesting for they are dialogues from within, with your inner self.

“Where should I go for dinner?” “I feel like having pasta today.” “Today’s a good day.”

Dialogues are interesting due to its priority as a mode of communication and when this mode of communication happens between yourself, we often term this behaviour “reflection” or “reflecting”, so to speak.

Unknowingly, we engage in reflections and self conversation more often than we know in our day to day activities, which is a vital process, in my opinion.

Our world is subjected to numerous influences and forces. Forces that tells us right from wrong, good from bad and other contrasting opposites of the spectrum.

I feel that self conversation is a check and an assurance. It is the regulatory force behind our wellbeing, the one which really tells us right from wrong, positives to negatives.

There are many ways of interpreting right or wrong in this world; what’s right to you may or may not be right to another, and vice versa. And thus, this is where this self check comes into play.

Recently I stumbled upon a social networking site, also known as Twitter.

Apparently, it’s popular in the states and is a fast growing trend. It works on the fundamental question,

“What are you doing now?”

Since the dawn of time (seemingly), people have been asking other people that question.

And this is interesting because on twitter, people not only say what they’re doing, but also what they’re feeling.

I found twitter interesting (thus explaining the little widget to the right, feel free to click and follow me), and rather surprising on multiple levels. Largely because I was taken aback by the frankness and the willingness to express that self conversation within oneself, with the world through such a medium.

Indeed the world is changing and people are becoming more and more open. A question like “what are you doing now?” is no longer a sacred, personal inquiry but takes its place as a conversational topic.

We find ourselves more and more willing to express our thoughts, feelings and opinion and we venture out of our safety zones. With the emergence of blogs, twitter and technological advances, the process of self conversation takes on a different dimension.

New platforms are springing up and people are now, able to express themselves with a variety of ways and mediums.

However, I feel that the fundamental process is always the most intensive and important, to say the least. Whatever we converse with our inner self, a degree of rawness is engaged amongst ourselves and it is this unique interaction that for me, keeps things in check and sane.

Oh well, that’s that.

Only today, an idea came to me. It was a simple yet interesting idea but also, very time consuming.

An idea.

The idea is Flickr based, which means that it is mainly, if not entirely, graphical.

The concept? Simple.

Everyday, for 365 days a year, I will have to take a picture representing my mood, emotions or thoughts for that particular day. It can be anything, still life, weather, people, structures etc. So as long as the mood and emotion for that particular day is represented, the picture would have achieved that purpose.

So what do you guys think?

I’m not too sure if there already is such a thing going on in Flickr (but I do know of other concepts revolving around “taking a picture a day”) and I’ll need feedback and comments about the concept, before I decide to go with or scrape the idea.

It would look really good and interesting at the end of the 365 days, I guess.

And that’s about it for this update I guess. Check back soon for even more good stuff to follow.

Time to re-hit the books (yes, its time).

Stand strong, in the meantime.

*metallic-stains and its owner is in no way affiliated to twitter and flickr in anyway other being a user. All concepts and pictures used in the post belongs to the owner of metallic-stains and usage or adaptation without permission is not advised. In fact, you'd be better off not stealing. Just saying.

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Now playing: The Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Hand
via FoxyTunes

Examinations; Understanding or Memorising?

Take a Step back, and think.

I wouldn't consider my holidays to be in full swing, nor is it in a total standstill. Due to some unpredicted circumstance, total liberation from school has been delayed, to much dismal reception.

On hindsight, I've never been a real big fan of written examinations, but I mean, who is?

2 hours spent in a cold room with nothing but pen, brain and hand. All those late nights, all those long hours spent memorizing factual information, everything lies within those 2 precious hours.

Make it or break it.

Since the dawn of time (seemingly), examinations have always been the forefront of being an indication of a person's understanding of the subject, well at least in the current trend of society.

What you know, is what you're worth, or so they say.

Sure, education is about understanding and ultimately learning, but really, let us take a step back and reminisce the times where nights of precious sleep was given up due to the following day's exams.

Is this learning?

Often I heard the people around me, even educators, talking about written examinations. Multiple interpretations arise but my personal favorite has to be "exams are just vomiting everything out, and back onto the script, which is then handed in".

An interesting analogy I feel.

The society's indication of a person's worth is limited in terms of measurement standards. The number of As you have in your report card often determines your chances of getting the job you desire.

And to me, that is largely disturbing. The society has "evolved" to such stage that we are so result oriented. So much so that we lose sight of the big picture.

However, this is where the paradox comes in.

Examinations does have its educational uses as well. For one, the presence of exams acts as a spur and a drive for individuals to actually make an effort to learn something. And ironically, being in such a result oriented society, that in itself is a motivator.

It is human nature that when we lose out, we feel horrible and we naturally want to do better, to compete and to excel; nobody likes or wants to lose.

To draw the line between boundaries.

We have to draw the line very clearly between knowing something and understanding it; what you know might not be something you understand.

And for me, education is all about understanding and learning something new. Never mind if you know the exact use of Mandelstam variables or the definition of quantum chromodynamics by the tip of your hands, understanding the theory and the principle behind such complexities in life is what I feel education is all about.

Sure, all hell breaks lose when the storm comes but what happens after that?

Right that's that. Now for a little update on metallic-stains.

Its been quite awhile since the blog's last post (as seen below) largely due to exams and school commitments but since that's (almost) behind, we're back in business.

For starters, I've added a little something to make interaction easier (and faster) with you guys my readers.

Blogger introduced this new feature quite some time ago and thus I'm putting it into use. Here it is,

As seen at the end of every post.

Reactions. That's what the feature is called (its the "yes" and "no" thing beside "Dig the post?") and its basically a "poll" where readers can click, select and express how they feel about the post.

Pretty interesting huh.

With Reactions, it'll be easier to obtain feedback about the post and the blog, and also easier to see if people like (or hate) the particular post. So yea, feel free to use the feature.

Its always a nice feeling to me when I see visitors from all over the world on metallic-stains. Recently I've been observing a flow of visitors interesting countries all over the world and I really appreciate that.

And you guys out there if you're reading this, feel free to comment and a big shout out to all of you.

Also, feel free to follow the blog by clicking on the "follow this blog" feature located on the right tool bar for updates.

Audrey has been busy of late and for those interested, be sure to visit the flickr page (link is located on the toolbar to the right).

Alright, I guess that's that for now. Metallic-stains is back, so be sure to check back for updates and the lot.

Great stuff soon to come.

Stay Gold!

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Now playing: Anberlin - A Day Late
via FoxyTunes

Strapped in Notes.

For the first time in metallic-stains history, you readers out there will be treated to something never seen before.

A short post.

Yes, I've been on hiatus BUT I'll be back really soon (in a week's time or so with effect from the date of this post).

Reason? Well, you might have guessed it, Examinations.

Think of it not as inactivity but as a respite. A short respite I guess.

So yea, check back in a week's time, readers. Great stuff to come out really soon.

Watch this space.

See you guys, in abit.

Discretion or Inspiration?

Was down at the Cathay an hour or so back for a little R&R and guess what I saw.

A beauty isn't it?

Well, say "aye" if you're a car fanatic as you'll probably know where I'm coming from. But that wasn't all...

Oh. My. God.

An ENTIRE row of Astons. Right in front of me. I swear, the radius of a hundred meters around me was probably worth well over millions.

Though Astons aren't exactly my personal favorites, this spectacle would probably wow typical car junkies.

I soon found out the reason for such a gathering.

Apparently, Cathay was gearing up (pun intended) for the premier launch of the latest Bond Movie, Quantum of Solace (out in theaters in a couple of days).

And thus explaining the reason behind all the Astons parked there. Talk about a publicity stunt.

Alright, time for a little update.

I've noticed a trend in my post frequencies as of recent durations. No, blogging hasn't converted itself into a weekly affair; I'm just too caught up with school work and the such. The added disadvantage of not having stable access to the internet during weekdays further amplifies this issue.

But fret not readers, articles and updates will be posted soon and in fact, I'm actually considering registering metallic-stains as an independent domain by itself.

This is very subjective though, due to various factors (ie. costs) and simply due to the fact that the idea came along as a random thought.

Week 4 marks the start of various ICAs and for my readers who require clarification about the abbreviation, its simply your average graded assignment (ie. project presentations, written tests).

I realized that creativity is the essence of success as seen in multiple cases (like Apple Corporation for example). Sure, there's a certain degree of difficulty in being creativity, but I believe that everyone is creative to a large extent thus there is no excuse for success.

On a side note, I never thought that time would fly so (freaking) fast. Barely a year ago, I would be cooped up in my house, viciously mugging and remembering as much detail as I possibly can in preparation of the O level examinations.

There are certain events in life that can literally break or make a person and I guess that this crude and somewhat critical education system that we're currently in does have its positive outcomes as well.

At this point in time, I would like to share a little narrative that I thought about while in the shower a couple of days back (told you guys that one of my main periods of thought occurs during showers didn't I?) and here goes;

"

A cold winter morning blew a bitter chill over the flat country lands. Everyone left in search of new hope when the immerse colds struck. While only a few others decided to pursue seemingly broken dreams in the harsh waste land.

The farmer was one of them.

This plot of land was the only thing he had owned in his entire life and not even the harshest of winds would have deterred his will to stay rooted there. In a way, it was more than just a home to him.

Yes, winter had come early this year in this region but as usual during this period, everyone in the country left towards warmer urban areas, in hopes of new opportunities. Only the old or sickly was left behind, largely reluctant to leave due to emotional bonds similar to that of the farmer.

But the farmer was only 18 of age.

There was something different about him for sure. While others of his age had snubbed the idea of staying in the country, he saw what he needed to do here and has thus decided on his decision to stay.

As the farmer sat down in his small shack shared with his elderly parents, massive sacks of seeds surrounded him. He knew that winter would soon end and it would be time. Time to make a change and time to move on.

The farmer wasn't without ambition; he had big plans for this land he had valued so much over development. One day, he told himself, people will see the value of country lands.

Indeed, he has studied the lands in the country for one too many years and had thought that he knew everything there is to know. But what he didn't learn was that every winter was different from the previous, a crucial detail that he ignorantly overlooked which he'll soon pay a deep price for.

Soft cracks presumed as the farmer diligently separated and sorted out the seeds.

-

Too many bone biting winter chills had passed since the farmer sat in his shack, sorting the seeds out. He knew that winter was about to end, and before he slept that night, he prayed to whichever god he knew, asking for the dawn of a new hope and chapter in his life.

The grim overcast skies of dawn showed no improvement. A crack, however, soon printed itself in the center of the vast greyness. Slowly but surely, it widen and a golden ray of warmth and hope pieced the dull monotony of the country side.

The farmer felt warmth on his face as he stirred in bed. He smiled with his eyes still closed for he knew that the time was here.

-

The seeds were all planted in the vast area of land that the farmer owned and valued more than anything else. And with a satisfied look from his face as he viewed his pass week's effort to plant the seeds, he felt confident about his progress. His aged parents too, felt his confidence and they too, basked in it.

The coming of spring saw the return of the those who left and new faces in the country.

The farmer knew that they wouldn't last the winter as they would probably be too impatient and thus made no efforts to befriend them.

-

A festive-like atmosphere soon filled the country side. The farmer visited the country's market square only to find tents and bonfires being erected and smiling faces filled the streets.

It was a common sight in the non-winter seasons as considerable numbers flocked to the market square to gather supplies, interact as well as soak in the various festivals that spurred the people in the region of the country side.

After a quick visit to the local blacksmith (he needed a new pitch fork), the farmer decided to stop by the animal vendors to check out the livestock, vital to any farm though he never had money to afford a proper investment as such.

As soon as he turned the corner, his eyes met with another; dark brown pupils with beautifully framed eye lashes. Shifting out of focus, he saw the face which the eyes belonged.

The girl was beautiful, easily the most appealing ones he's seen in his entire life. A confused look framed her face as she held an arm to her hips while the other griped a belled staff tightly, as if anticipating an attack.

A shepherd! The farmer had never expected one of her kind in these regions for the lack of need for wool; there was simply no economy here for such a trade to exist as people only came to the country side during the warmer seasons of the year.

The shepherd looked away as the farmer muttered his apologies for bumping in like that.

"Oh, its alright. Can I interest you in some sheep for your farm?"

The farmer wasn't looking for sheep to even start with, probably a chicken or a pig but a sheep had never crossed his mind, and thus decided to dismiss that offer.

The shepherd looked dejected and turned the other way as she slowly walked back to her herd of sheep in the distance.

"But wai..."

She never looked back.

-

Day after day, the farmer headed back to that very same spot in hopes of "bumping" into the shepherd again, largely to no avail. Traders never stayed in one place for too long and he knew of that only too well.

But since that fateful meeting, he felt a strong connection with the shepherd. As if someone had sent her there, only to make him suffer day and night as thoughts of her filled his mind.

On his usual round one day, he decided that he wasn't going to come back tomorrow, or the day after, or even the month after that. In essence, he had given up, physically, though his mind betrayed that emotion.

He look out a piece of paper, wrote a note and hammered it onto a nearby wooden lamp post.

The farmer didn't come back the next day, nor did he the day after or the week after. But in his mind the prospect of the shepherd remained vivid, as if hinting that there was a possibility of hope.

-

As the months passed, the farmer's crops grew but harvest was poor as compared to previous years. Evidently, the farmer was disappointed; it would be a really tough winter this time, to tide through, if they were able to even make it at all.

The autumn months brought about rains to the country side, and by now, people were already evacuating, with rumors spreading of a horrible winter ahead; the worse in the country's recorded history.

Floods were on the feared tongues of land owners and the farmer too, had to be on the alert.

The morning will bring new hope, the farmer thought to himself as he climbed onto his bed as fell asleep. A soft rumble, barely audible, vocalized in a distance just as the farmer fell asleep...

(END OF PART 1)

"

Okay I'll stop here. Hopefully there's a hook factor in this narrative. I'll continue and conclude the story soon. Feel free to share your thoughts about the narrative above. I'm as always, open to feedback.

On a random note, I think people misjudge and misunderstand the term "emo" namely, emo music. I've developed a recent liking for emotional songs, probably due to occurrences as well as being able to relate to a distinct few.

Call me weird.

Alright, its late and time for bed. More content coming soon on metallic-stains so please check back often.

Cya'll later.

"This Heart, it Beats"
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Now playing: Paramore - My Heart
via FoxyTunes

'twas the Work of the Source.

That is the moon, in case you're wondering.

Time for a little update.

The past couple of days were really interesting largely due to a couple of significant happenings, thus explaining the reduce in update frequencies.

Results were released earlier this week. I'm sure it was a brief reminiscence of sorts for everyone. (remember the days back in secondary/primary education where you patiently awaited for your test grades?)

Congratulations to everyone who did well!

Due to certain reasons, I will not explicitly post/announce my very own results here, but all I can say's that I'm pleased that all those late nights, eye bags and long meetings paid off. Not to mention, hard work.

The new semester will certainly bring new challenges as well as tougher ones so I guess its time to ruffle up those feathers and work even harder to achieve something more.

Well, as I patiently anticipate the new term, I also thought about things in retrospect.

A year ago, I would be sprawled out upon the study desk, (yes, at this hour too) with a mug of coffee rested neatly upon its warm coaster (you know, the thing that you put mugs on) as my only companion as I faced the non-existent (metaphorically speaking) world of the textbook and the ten year series.

Yes, I had an aim, but I also had something else which I regret having, the ignorance of failure.

What was I to do, lest I failed?

I dared not think about that prospect, for I had really high hopes for myself, and so did my folks. I gave it my all, and deeply believed that I did.

They say that when you're at the bottom, the only way is up.

And that's what I had on my mind, when I got the "fruits" of my labor. I guess the only thing to do was to dust myself up and keep going.

This was probably why I started metallic-stains in the first space, though my bucket-list (which I have yet to complete, BUT I will) first came as in idea for novelty. But it manifested into something more.

It left me thinking that there is more to life then just finishing a bucket-list, though I already had this in mind while I dished up the list; there was a greater, deeper purpose for it.

The idea of a bucket-list, itself, is morbid. But I toyed with the aspect of death while hope was seemingly lost and all was nothing to live for, and yet again, I guess this is why life never fails to amaze you.

Life turns things around. Life induces hope for it corresponds to the same subject matter. And with metallic-stains, to me personally, it symbolizes hope, hope that there's a better tomorrow, and hope that there's improvement and achievement.

So yea, for all those out there who has given up on hope, as I've always encouraged, don't.

Life has a way of throwing bends and loops at you, but straightening these "bends" and "loops" will still end in a straight path at the end of the day.

On a lighter note, the pass couple of days were spent on two entirely different forefronts; formality and leisure.

Yea, this may sound confusing but I assure you that it'll all fall into place with my next article publishing, so yea, hang in there.

Its not entirely common that I'll decide to talk about my past (like in this entry for instance) but yea, thought it would be a good topic to share with you guys, the valued readers.

The past is probably a fragment of my personal history, something which will make me develop further as an individual, so I hoped that you guys appreciated that short little summary.

Remember to check back for updates and articles (really interesting stuff coming up by the way) right here on metallic-stains and for those who are currently engulfed amongst the sea of stress secreted by the ominous presence of pending major exams (such as the O/A' Levels and Promos), you have my sincerest of wishes for success.

Till then.

Cya'll later.

Random Thought, Vol. 8

Just finished class not 2 hours ago with my student; he was pretty difficult today, if I may add.

It was kinda hard getting him down to study and all but yea, who can blame the little guy? I mean holidays and all tomorrow thrown it the fact that he's just been off from school (he studies in the afternoon session), it must be hard for any individual to concentrate in such circumstances.

If not for his exams the week after this, I wouldn't have piled homework on the poor guy. Oh well.

Decided to hang around after class and here I am, at an undisclosed location, soaking up as much bandwidth as I possibly can.

Look, this happens when you do not get a stable internet connection everyday, Sheesh.

Anyway, its crowded tonight (as it always is in sacred ground). Lots of people studying and all. Interesting really.

Time for a couple of random thoughts...

1) I see my friends here studying
2) The roof is really really high
3) I want to stay here till dawn
4) I want to study
5) Its hard to teach when you're distracted
6) I don't really feel like going home
7) Microwave food sucks
8) Pineapple on the road
9) Instant noodles for supper?
10) Someone's using MSN here

Uhh, yea. Thats that I guess. Hopefully I'll be able to get some supper later on. Feeling kinda empty down there.

I best supplement my hunt for food. Remember to check back for updates and articles and yes, its been pretty packed these few days due to study constrains and commitments.

Cya'll later.