Today, I found myself.. (Day 313)

Today, I found myself emotionally challenged and physically worn.

Into the Water

Halloween awesome-ness indeed.

Spent the last couple of days on both ends on the spectrum; leisure and work. Both in epic proportions, if I may so graciously add.

Let us first run through a little update on the work front.

ICAs have been coming in in steady streaks but I guess its business as usual. Work has been taxing of late and rightly so. After all, change breeds improvement doesn't it?

On a side note, I've not been sleeping as I should. Well, not really as I should per se but more like "as much as I should have been sleeping". I rarely sleep before 3am as of recently months and I guess its taking a toll on my body, both physically and mentally.

The upside (or downside, depending how you look at it) though, is that I feel less and less tired even though I'm getting less and less sleep. Guess its the body's way of adapting to circumstances, no matter how harsh it is.

This certainly adds to the resume of the human body (Resilience? Check!) and without a doubt, it is one of the most intricately engineered masterpiece above all.

Moving onto the other side of the spectrum. This is what puts the "f" in "fun".

Darkened eyeliner, smudged mascara and scars left behind. Mildly disturbing indeed.

The party over the weekends was certainly one of the highlights of the week by a long shot.

All in the name of fun (love, peace and joy etc), we came all dressed up in various facades otherwise known as abnormal in typical social situations. From Ginger Spice to Slash, to a guy with slashes on his hands, the party saw a unique flow of attendees.

The Emo Kid strutting off his arms. Slash slashes slashes on slashed hands. The wounds are NOT real.
(But they do look disturbing on camera)

Activities largely revolved around food, socializing as well as the continuous sounds of Guns & Roses being blasted over the stereo system in the form of music videos.

I can safely say that everyone had a good laugh and a nice time there at the party for sure.

Alright, moving on now. I just thought of something which I came up, a couple of days back and thus had decided to add it to this post as part of the update.

It basically depicts a process of sorts. I'm sure everyone has been part of this process, though it goes largely overlooked in current societal contexts.

Here goes...

Picture this;

"

You're standing at the edge of a lake. You look down and you see a grim canopy of water, in shades darkness. You're unsure of your fate or what were you doing, standing at edge, seemingly staring into the face of death.

Should you take the plunge? How deep is the water? Is the water too cold or too hot? Questions as such pop into your mind bit by bit, like a typewriter, it slowly scripts fears into you.

As you prepare to take the jump, you hold your breath and not knowing what to expect, you're in the air. For that brief moment, time had seemed to malfunction and you think to yourself; am I doing the right thing? What will happen of me?

That was weird though, you thought.

Indeed, for you felt as if right before you took the plunge yourself, someone or something had pushed you down. What was it? You have no clue whatsoever.

Then a second thought hit you whist you were in midair; What if I couldn't swim, you thought to yourself, What if I drowned?

Time seemed to stop as sudden as it soon resumed and with a sudden spur, everything was a blur again and that was when you plunged into the water.

"

I'm sure most if not everyone has plunged "into the water" at some point in their lives; it is a common occurrence.

But the issue arises when one is seemingly "pushed" by who or what or something that we don't know. How should we react? Should we even react at all?

There are many aspects which can fit the bill of the "pusher" in this context, the most common accredited to emotions and feelings.

Many a time, our emotions "push" us into situations we don't fancy, don't feel good about, or into situations we feel unsure of; too many a time, in actual fact. But it must be noted that sometime, it is us, ourselves who take the final step off the edge; there was no "push".

A little food for thought then. Hmm...

Time to get back to work, certainly plenty to do. Be sure to check back for updates and articles as always.

Cya'll later.


"... or I'll just end up walking, in the cold November Rain"
----------------



Now playing: Guns N' Roses - November Rain
via FoxyTunes

Discretion or Inspiration? (Part 2)

A place where no one dwells, where nature is untouched, where troubles are non-existent, where dreams live and where hope is alive.

Just a quick mid week update, though the main purpose of this post is to complete the narrative as seen in the previous post.

Life never fails to amaze. Well, at least for me. I've come to realize that there's more then meets the eye to life than "making money and dying peacefully". I mean we see "death" everyday (in the media, for starters) so I guess the society's already shaped and crafted in such a way that we discredit the true meaning of life in general.

Achieving dreams might seem like something out of a novel but I can assure you that it is very real. So real in fact, that even we, fail to notice its prominence.

Its good to dream, its good to aim and its good to plan your life. But what drives it is action, motivation as well as direction.

Dreams and ambitions do come true.

Oh well, on a lighter note, I realize that there is evident change in my sleeping pattern; I'm able to draw larger amounts of energy from lesser amounts of sleep. Something tells me that this isn't exactly what you'll define as a "healthy" lifestyle.

Hmm...

Alright, now for the finale on the previous running narrative. We'll pick it up right where we left; just as the farmer was about to fall asleep (the irony).


"

The morning will bring new hope, the farmer thought to himself as he climbed onto his bed as fell asleep. A soft rumble, barely audible, vocalized in a distance just as the farmer fell asleep...

(END OF PART 1)

-

A cruel dawn broke out against the countryside and though the morning had come, the golden sunshine that the people have grown accustomed to was nowhere to be found. Instead, a huge ominous cloud of enormous statue loomed over the vast fields of the countryside, many of which ripen and ready to harvest.

It was all calm, too calm and then, it was here.

A sudden impulse, and all hell broke loose. The farmer started into consciousness and jumped from his bed. A quick glance outside revealed only one thing as emotion gripped him like a predator on its prey; fear.

So all that talk about a storm and floods were true, the farmer thought to himself as he threw some clothes on, preparing for the worse while he did so.

As if on cue, the first drop of water from the sky descended with the loud complement of thunder in the sky. A light drizzle soon followed, peppering the fields with a dash of water, signaling something of a greater magnitude to follow.

The farmer could hear the light patter of rain falling upon the shack's frail, but sustainable roof; it often leaked. The tempo of the raindrops slowly increased as with the rate of his heartbeat.

-

With rain beating down harshly upon the farmer's already soaked overalls, the farmer didn't slow down for a minute as he repeated a simple chain of actions; pluck, dump into bag, move on to next harvest.

His mind however, was involved in a mix battle of conflict from within, as question after question filled his already troubled mind, deliberating about his actions and the consequence.

As if emphasizing on the already grim situation, streaks on lightning framed the livid skyline, thunder roaring as if in accomplice.

-

Time passed seemingly slow but the rain had only beat down with renewed vigor. And by now, the farmer's fatigue reached an all time low. His movements were sluggish and clumsy.

Bit by bit, his vision clouded. Was it the rain thickening? Or was it just after storm mist which shrouded his surroundings? He mumbled to himself, obviously in delirium and much suffering and torment.

The skies struck once more. A flash of pure energy hit home and the farmer felt the ground shaking, as if shattered by the powerful force of nature itself.

The world around him turned to black.

-

The countryside saw the worse storm that day, one of the most destructive in recent years.

Homes had to be rebuilt, harvest re-cultivated, and hopes had to be re-established. That year also saw the quietest mid autumn festival in the countryside; many lives were ruined and many others stripped of faith.

Few gathered around the traditional mid autumn bon-fire, which didn't looked as impressive as it was last year.

Already the countryside prophets predicted that the torrent of rain that struck the country a couple of days ago was only a fraction of what the year's winter would encompass and rage.

A light chime made its way amongst the small mass gathered there, seeking the last source of warmth before the harsh winter.

Voices were hushed and soft for everyone gathered and prayed softly. There were no feasts. There were no decorations, nor were there any song and dances; everyone provided with whatever little they have left from the storm.

As the Shepherd stepped into the circle that has been made around the minute bon-fire, the voices slowly focused from a distortion of mumbles.

"I heard that a farm on the outskirts..." said one.

"Yes, I've heard it too." Another commented.

"totally destroyed, that one" came the answer.

"The creator blesses them"

The Shepherd's curiosity got to her as she strained to eavesdrop further (no one talked to her as they found no use for her, largely due to her trade).

Sleepless nights had eroded her; her eyes looked tired, her face looked haggard and her hands were shaky. But nothing deteriorated more then her mind. Day and night, she kept thinking about that encounter with that farmer she encountered.

Something. Something made her feel that way, as if a voice was calling out to her everyday. But she failed to verbalize whatever that was making her feel this way.

Unknowingly, the Shepherd has wandered to a desolated spot which looked vaguely familiar to her. A feeling of deja-vu gripped her tightly as she replayed the encounter in her head. There was something about those eyes.

She then saw it. Right there, as if unaffected by the torrent of rain over the period of the pass few days; an apt comparison of the persistent feelings that eluded her all this time.

She knew what to do.

-

A cloud of smoke cleared and the smell of burnt wood was pervading the usually fragrant countryside air.

The farmer was kneeling in front of what looked like the remains of the shack he once lived in, tears welling up in the eyes as he looked in agony.

His shirt was stained with mud for he had fainted just as the rain climaxed a few days back. He had awoken with the devastation before he eyes; his ruined harvest, ravaged fields and more importantly, his destroyed shack.

His parents though, weren't anywhere to be found and he wept at the prospect of them being amongst the charred ruins.

-

The clouds above soon cleared and the countryside saw the first glimpse of the golden sun's rays through the canopy of clouds that raged its anger upon the countryside.

Slowly, golden rays illuminated the countryside, the vast pastures, the lush trees and the green grass, laden with water over the pass couple of days.

A tint of golden fell on the broken farmer as he wept before the devastation, with it, a soft, familiar sound of bells rang from afar.

The farmer doubted his ears but his vision could deceive him no more; a silhouette along the horizon against the setting sun confirmed his thoughts.

She's here, he said.

(End of Part 2)

"

Alright that's all for this part. I must say that a considerable amount of thought was put into this episode so I hope you guys enjoy it as much I writing it.

On a random note, its freaking cold where I am so.

Time for dinner but before I take my leave, I would like to share a particular song, as seen below, to all my readers out there.

Feel free to feedback about the narrative as you deem fit and I'm considering a follow up quite soon.

Cya'll later.

"These words were never easier to say, or her to second guess"

----------------

Now playing: Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best
via FoxyTunes

Choice Number 1

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."

The pass couple of days were somewhat inward as well as solitary for me as I dug deep into the uncharted regions of my mind, reflecting on everything that's been going on, everything that has happened, and everything that I foresee happening. To put it simply, I've been doing a thorough overhaul mentally.

I've thought about various issues, not only those related to me personally but also to the society as a whole. I've also come to realize that things aren't always what it turns out to be and that the society has a much stronger foothold on us than we had envisioned it.

A couple of weeks back, I received a call inquiring about my services as a tutor. In a way, I was really excited about taking in another student.

A few days back saw the first lesson with my new student (so now I have 2 students, for those of you keeping track at home) and it was, if I may comment, a new experience with regard to my previous student.

Not drawing any comparisons here but I'm really thankful, both from a professional and personal perspective for this new business opportunity. Again, having a new client means, naturally, newer challenges but I'm ready to face them head on.

During the lesson however, came a particular challenge that caught me off guard.

We chanced upon this "multiple choice" vocabulary question, one of those where you have to pick an answer out of the 4 given and write its corresponding number. It went like this;

Question: On Sunday, we went to the library to ____ books

1) Buy
2) Borrow
3) Lend
4) Draw

Well, I'm pretty sure you're sitting there in your chair going "that's easy, the answer's 2".

Yes, that was my presumption too. But sometimes like they say "ignorance is bliss".

"I think the answer is number 1!"

She (my student) then happily scribbled down her answer on the book and gave me a satisfied expression upon doing so.

"that's because sometimes libraries sell books too!"

Buy. Borrow. Yes common sense tells you that you "borrow" books from the library but is "buy" really deemed incorrect?

That was when I started thinking of the article which I posted recently; "Eating at Disambiguation; Agreeing is not Disagreeing". Why can't the answer be choice number 1?

"What if" the library decided to organize a book fare to sell its old books on that particular Sunday which the question was referring to?

I guess in reality, the "politically correct" answer would be option 2 as people NORMALLY borrow and not buy books at the library.

The presence of ambiguity (with huge reference to my article), has indeed elevated this question into a philosophical issue rather than a primary one (first grade) question.

Indeed, I was dumbfounded by the question as well as my student's response. In fact, there was a minute's grace before I gathered my assessment of her answer.

Life catches you unawares on more than one occasion and I guess, this is one such example. Here we see the clash between innocence and ambiguity in society. People automatically assume the norm.

Its like saying,

"Stop ___ on your computer, you've been at it all day!"

The "correct" answer being "playing" but can you entirely say that "working" is "politically incorrect"?

A child's innocence is the result of an unfiltered mind. The child may know of both sides as they're not subjected to typicality as yet.

Oh well.

On to lighter issues.

Sigh.

I have this strange urge to go and adopt a cat (thus the reason for the pictures in this post). I've been a fan of cats (as compared to dogs) for quite sometime now but only recently has this idea resurfaced (yes, I've considered the idea of adoption only to be rejected by my folks).

If only Life was like this.

I would take pictures of stray cats I see on the streets and along with a bunch of friends whom share the similar interest and fondness for cats, talk about them every time the thought pops up.

I sense a trip down to the local pet shelter sometime soon.

I've also decided (more or less) to purchase an iPhone, which will happen sometime soon during the week.

Figured that purchasing an iPhone will speed up my efficiency, both on a professional front as well as on a personal basis. Of course, I took into consideration a load of other factors.

Alright, I'd best get to bed; expected to be up early tomorrow prior to a significant event (which I may or may not update on).

Remember to check back for updates and articles.

Cya'll later.

*All Photos/Pictures used in this post belongs to their respective owners and photographers*

Formula Unique

The Marina Bay Circuit, its a beauty isn't it?

[EDIT] I've managed to upload a couple of pictures to the post, as promised. Additional images will be added in due time (when I'm able to get a better connection). [EDIT]

Firstly, I would like to apologize for the lack of images and pictures in this post. This is largely due to my technical restrictions pertaining to the speed of my internet.

Well I feel that talking about an event is largely compromised in terms of richness and depth with the lack of images to describe and relate to. They say that "a picture says a thousand words" so I'll try to update this particular post with pictures as soon as I'm able to do so.

Let us dive straight into the action without delay then.

And yes, that's a Ferrari around the corner.

This weekend saw the Formula One contingent storm into sunny Singapore for the inaugural Singapore Grand Prix.

A piece of history carved in stone for both the sport as well as the country for it was the first night race ever to be held for the sport of Formula One.

World class racers arrived days prior to the start of the race and took time off to familiarize themselves to the climate and also, to the track in which they'll be putting their lives on the line to travel at speeds of up to 300 km/h.

There was an evident buzz descending upon the city of Singapore too, as race day inched closer and closer; a moment in history about the unfold.

The "tunnel of light" which thousands of people gathered around in hopes of sneaking a glimpse of their favorite drivers.

I was there, at ground zero where it was all happening, the Marina Bay Circuit, for the qualifying session on Saturday, a couple of days back.

A festive atmosphere greeted me as I got the all clear from the tight security officials stationed at selected areas around the track, each making sure that conditions were optimum for the race to commence without unnecessary inconveniences.

Booths and huge tents were set up around various locations in the area. Many of which catered to the various needs and wants of the race day spectators. The amenities were simply top-notched.

Porsches speeding by the Fulleton Hotel.

Other races filled up the program sheet for the day. Some of which included Aston Martins, BMWs and Porsches revving their engines up, igniting the already lively atmosphere with grunts and roars which echoed off the tall neighboring buildings of the Central Business District of Singapore.

Dusk soon settled which threw long shadows upon the track as the sun slowly dissipated on the horizon. The atmosphere however, didn't falter.

High pitched grunts from the distance saw the start of the main event; Formula One cars in action. Everyone gathered up their cameras, plugged in their ear plugs and tilted their heads in anticipation, excitement clearly streaming in their minds.

*

The sights and the amazing buzz of activity around the Marina Bay Area.

A couple of hours ago saw the Singapore Grand Prix swing into full throttle (pun intended) as the Marina Bay Circuit rang into life as the the last of the three red lights went off.

Well I personally, was really excited and proud at that very moment though it may sound and appear really odd.

Nope, I wasn't at "ground zero" this time (I was only there for the Qualifying rounds) but witnessed the event via the television, which I might add, provided a substantial amount of coverage for the entire event. Kudos for that.

The race itself had its fair share of ups and downs and to me personally it was a roller coaster of emotions and certainly, one of the more dramatic races that I've ever seen. I will not go into detail lest the presence of spoilers (for more information about the various events that happened, be sure to catch repeat telecasts as well as race reports), but I can assure that its something people will talk about for a long time to come.

It was really amusing yet assuring to see my family clinging onto their seats as we huddled over the television set, watching the race. The fact that they weren't exactly racing fanatics emphasized the point stronger.

History was made. The first ever night race in Formula One history and I guess that explained my sense of pride for our little island we call Singapore.

Hosting the first night race has certainly put Singapore on a whole new level in terms of their global image and also on the world map.

I hope we'll no longer be referred to as the "tiny red dot" but more rather, "the country that hosted the first ever night Formula One Race".

Sure, I'm a racing fan, but with reference to the rest of my family, whom to much concern, regard the term "Iceman" as a superhero and "Understeer" as an object under the steering wheel.

I guess the Formula for Singaporeans to feel proud of their country lies in being unique. Well, at least in my case. As long as a prominent event pulls at the Singaporean heartstrings, I'm sure that sense of pride will ensure.

People nowadays are deteriorating their sense of pride towards their countries, and with much reason to feel so, lest may I add. Living standards are sky rocketing and the world is a much competitive place to live in, in recent decades and I guess that is the core reason why people neglect issues as such.

So I think an event like this, can effectively spur and hopefully, change the mindsets of people towards their countries in due time.

As with reference to the previous post,

"I find it (F1 coming to Singapore) very cool."

And yes, I dare say that proudly and loudly though some may reply "big deal?"

So whether you're a racing fanatic or just a typical citizen with normal pleasures in life, I hope you've found as much joy and prominence in the event as I did. I can't wait for next year's race.

So yea, I hope you liked my little input on the Singapore Formula 1 GP. Again, I apologize for the lack of images, which I'll try to post once I'm at liberty to do so.

Be sure to check back for updates and articles coming right up and I apologize in advance for the lack of activity, due to my commitments.

Cya'll later.

Poem; And I'll Look Death in the Eye and Sigh.

Okay, this is just some random poem that pop-ed into my head just a couple of minutes ago. Not that I'm feeling emotional (fine, just a little) or anything, just an inspiration that came to me.

So here goes...

And I'll Look Death in the Eye and Sigh.

Life isn't as peaceful
as you've thought it out to be.
the up and down contours,
sets a precedent in our minds.

When we're down and out
take a step back and listen
to the sounds of the heart
which holds no reason.

Yes, the heart falters
but should we?
will we soldier on,
in search of the light?

Affairs of the heart
an incomparable truth
for us as mere mortals
this is only a bruise.

Complications arise
but that is the nature
for this cruel game of life,
is full of obstacles as such.

When the time comes
and problems arise
feelings crushed
hurt and betrayed.

What do we do?
scars of battle,
gashes of blood,
and wounds of the heart.

What do we do?
left out in the open
vulnerable and cold
till of age too old.

What do we do?
the mental agony,
torment and torture
is it all in our minds?

This pain is real
both inside and out
for the scars won't heal
nor will they fade.

All that drama,
the cruel truth
is this needed?
why have people become as thus?

The life that I've been
full of forceful regrets
nevertheless I've lived
throughout all those defects.

This is life as such
for one like myself
few will understand
few will comprehend.

This is life as such
for one like myself
no one knows
no one feels.

Living under a rock
for insecurities exist
those who may mock
it doesn't matter at least

And thus when the time comes
when the crows cry
the lakes empty
and when heavens dry

I'll know that the time
has indeed come
for me to take my leave
from this place of harm.

Until then,
when I see its face
whatever it is
with its horrible grimace

At that point in time
my tears will dry
when everything will stop...


I'll look Death in the eye


and Sigh.